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But my husband and I did our research, made a plan, adjusted it to fit our babies' needs and our own, and we stuck to it.Īs Glennon Doyle says, we can do hard things. Listening to your baby cry is certainly not easy on any parent. Lack of sleep can cause chaos and destruction in the functionality of your family unit. Sleep skills are the gift that keeps on giving The study shows better sleep at night means less frequent meltdowns throughout the day, better naps, and better cognitive functioning. The study concluded that depressive symptoms are a result, not a cause, of sleep problems. Guidelines from the National Sleep Foundation state that infants (4-11 months old) should get between 12 and 15 hours of sleep per day.Ī pediatric study published by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that the persistence of infant sleep problems through the preschool years is associated with slightly higher child behavior problems and maternal depression. It negatively affects the cognitive and physical development of children and can lead to a range of behavioral issues. Sleep deprivation doesn't just harm parents.
#Shush pat method how to#
Why would I expect my baby (or child) to do that when I could teach them how to fall asleep on their own, safely in their own crib? Babies need sleep. We don't go and go and go all day until we collapse in a heap on the floor (well, most days, anyway). The point is, we have a routine where we prepare our bodies to fall asleep.
#Shush pat method tv#
We settle ourselves with a book, a podcast or a TV show. Ask yourself, "How do I fall asleep?" And the answer for many includes a variety of self-soothing tactics. Here's one way to think of self-soothing that really helped my own perspective. Yes, I know how lucky I am!) The value of self-soothing (I didn't need them long, because she was sleeping from 7 p.m.-7 a.m. I could still hear her, I was still outside her door, but Spotify's Calm Acoustic playlist helped me remain calm-for my baby and myself.
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Before I went down the road of sleep training with my second child, I invested in a pair of semi-noise-canceling headphones. I was never more than an inch away from their bedroom door, and I know they sensed that. They develop their own self-soothing skills quickly, and when my kids got it down in under a week, I knew those few days were a small price to pay for the gift of good sleep. That being said, letting them fuss or wail for a few minutes before comforting them isn't easy-no mom enjoys hearing their baby cry.īut like all things in babyhood, sleep training is temporary. No matter what method of sleep training you choose (I combined the Ferber and "shush, shush, pat" methods) you don't just toss your baby in the crib and let them cry all night. When you're teaching your baby to sleep, you're not letting them cry for hours on end. For many moms, including myself, it's necessary. But parenting under extreme emotional and mental duress is harder-on everyone. It's giving your child the gift of self-soothing and sleep skills that will benefit them physically and mentally for the rest of their lives. Here's the thing we don't talk about when we're talking about sleep training: it's really just teaching. We all responded to the routine very well, and my mental health improved because of it. I was crumbling under a cloud of postpartum depression, anxiety, and sleep deprivation and knew something had to give.īy teaching my babies how to sleep for longer stretches (and all night long), I was better rested.
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At worst, they hurl awful names at you and accuse you of neglect. As a more seasoned mom, I know what works for me, what works for my kids, and I feel utterly unapologetic about all of it.Īt best, mommy-shamers are passive-aggressive about sleep training ("I couldn't do it, I hate hearing my baby cry"-as if any mom enjoys it). When I was a brand new, first-time mom with postpartum anxiety, I used to internalize every little comment like this. I hate it because the word "training" sounds incredibly harsh compared to what it really is.Īdditionally, just those two words, "sleep training," can conjure up an argument in an online mom group that has over a hundred comments. Confession: I hate the phrase " sleep training." Not because it's a hot-button topic, or because I feel guilty for having done it with both of my daughters.